I found myself on my couch, not being able to experience any joy out of life. Nothing would make me happy. I realized that the likelihood of natural death in my 30’s would be small, and suicide was not an option. My body had become so still and lifeless, how I wished for time to pass by so that my death would soon arrive. I don’t know how many days or weeks passed, until one day, something happened.
A thought that was clear as day came flashing into my psyche like a thunderbolt!
Since I was not going to kill myself, the only choice was to live and to live well. A second thought followed, ” what would happen if I applied all my efforts into elevating my mind and therefore my life?”
This thought excited me and that was something that I had not felt for a long time, progress!
Every day, when I wanted to sink into my usual gloom, I reminded myself of the choice I had made. To live and to live well. Despair would land somewhere in between, and there was no halfsies. I forced myself to socialize and exercises to raise my dopamine levels, so I joined a soccer team, a sport I once enjoyed and had lost interest in. This helped me immensely! I forced myself to do things that I didn’t want to do, like get out of the house and make new friends.
Since I had shut down, my life was empty of friendships, and I needed to create new ones. It took a lot of effort to build a life. It was uncomfortable and painful at first, but it was well worth it. One decision led me down a wonderful path. I can now proudly say that I have a life that I love, and every day it takes work to maintain it, but It’s worth it. I can honestly say that my mind is peaceful, and I have given birth to a new me. This blog is my way of serving peace on tap, and if one person finds their way out of where I used to be, I will have deemed this website a success.
Experience is the best teacher, for better or worse. Sharing my life with others so they may walk an easier path.
-K
